Why I care

Very often I get overwhelmed in my life by feelings. I get enraged at injustices. Intolerant at ignorances, and disgruntled by disconnectedness. I want for a better life for all of us and there are too many people making excuses about why we cannot make things better for everyone.
Regularly in conversations I get called all sorts of names when I offer up my perspective. I feel only sad for those people because they don't really have any real understanding about how things work. I could tell them, show them pictures, find articles all day long and it won't change their views. It is sad to me. I know that if they would lay down some of their faulty defense lines that they would be in control of their decisions instead of being forced to react predictably.
We are not free in this world to make our own determinations and decisions. The ideal is that we should be, but we do not practice it anywhere as part of our real lives.
We are marketed to, corralled, divided and put into categories with out even being aware that it is happening, much less how or why it is achieved.
I want to see this stop in our world. I want people to start being aware of their beliefs and feelings and examining them deeply to understand them. I know that there are many excuses and rationalizations for this not happening, but once more people than just the ones I can reach out and touch can start to get it, I have faith that it will be impacting in a very real way.
When people start to become aware of the way that they are thinking and feeling, they can begin to make other connections as well.
When I began my process of relearning myself, I found that I have many neural pathways that are attached to false ideas and boundless assertions. I had to be willing to accept that I was full of shit a lot and I didn't know why. By making that acceptance, I could be aware enough to identify where those pathways might have been built and why they were stimulated to network themselves in that manner. When there was a part of my history that made me come to an incorrect conclusion, I could discard it and supply the new information. In a way it works like patches do in programs. This process is something I use for myself regularly. By identifying stimuli, I can understand the response and even replace it.
I have long been a skeptic of Darwin's survival of the fittest theory. Not because what he says is not correct, it is because it is oversimplified and dismissive of surrounding stimulus. Being fit is not an arbitrary thing in nature that just picks and chooses. It is a very organized and methodical procedure. It is a balance of stimulus and response, all the way to the cellular level. When the environment provides a stimulus, there are a multitude of responses.
This throws a curve a Newton's law that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Sure. There are also a myriad of other reactions that may not be opposite, but harmonious and unequal. There may even seem to be no response. By recognizing this, one can start to see that there are cycles of stimulus and response and that they aren't all disastrous and definite, but they are identifiable.
It is my hope that we can start to begin to free ourselves from the unwanted responses in our lives by identifying the stimuli to them. I love this world, and I believe that is a valuable stimulus.

So now what?

It seems that things are melting down pretty steadily and I often find myself simply shaking my head and wondering if the ride gets more exciting, or just annoyingly dizzy? I went grocery shopping and stocked up on a few things. I have recommitted to storing some of the fruits and vegetables by dehydrating them. I have one 50 gallon drum full with pure water. I don't know for sure that our economy is collapsing, but if I saw an EKG with as much volatility as the stock market is showing, I'd start pullin shit out for a code and give the ER a heads up. I will agree that I have to question the motives of a rating agency anyway, just because of their existence and potential power, combined with a small staff and the current investigation going on in their Italian office, but I also know, that when people start seeing their only means of income going down the virtual drain, many of them tend to try to protect what's left. I heard the media guy say that this looks like 2008 all over again, well to us little folks too big guy. I watched my 200 dollars hemorrhage down to 84.00. I don't want to watch that all over again, and being told that I could have rebalanced my stocks afterward made me glad I didn't really know where these vile gameplayers meet to play virtual games with my once real money! I do not think this is a time to get into metals either, that won't feed or shelter you if you are broke like me. Planting a few extra things in some dirt will give you far more value for the money. Stay Alert campers, stuff's just gettin interesting!

Watching the Stock Market Crash?

I keep my eyes glued to the headlines looking for more clues. Unemployment payout is down about 50,000. That means that many people just lost their income. The debt ceiling has exceeded our net worth, no investments means no jobs creation, which means people are emptying out their portfolios, trying to hunker down. Nobody mentioned that the reason EU's stocks are down is also the reason Russia is calling us parasites, and why China is panicked (evidenced by their silence). What happens when the next wave hits and 100,000 people have to rely on retirement and savings accounts? See, this is where capitalism begins to look alot like a gambling addiction and they are playing with a stacked debt. I'm going to go weed my garden and look up new ways to cook beans. 

Empty Nesting

My children have gone for their vacations and I miss them very much. I keep getting messages asking how much I am enjoying the quiet. Not at all truthfully. They shared laughter and life in this house, something I am craving in their absence. I am proud of the ways that they have grown and matured this year, I watched them change dramatically. I worked hard to encourage them forward even against their own strong stubborn wills. I believe parenting is an active role, that requires consistency and a sense of humor. Anger is useless, things never get better while people are angry. My kids impress me. They are insightful and often wise. They challenge me and let me know where I am not paying attention. I am lucky because I have a fabulous partner who is right by my side to help in whatever way he can. He claims he doesn't know anything about parenting, but he has the most important thing I can think of, he remembers what he felt like as a kid. Most parents throw away that information along the way. I couldn't because I was only a kid when I became a parent, and no matter how much that pushed me into grownup territory, it still didn't make me an adult any sooner. Maybe even later. At any rate, I've been able to grow up with my kids and I feel thankful and blessed for that. So I miss them like crazy, and it's too quiet here.

Welcome to My Kitchen

Hi! I'm the PotTart. This blog is a personal endeavor to encourage myself to write more frequently and of the things I think about. I have alot to say about many different things and very often I rant about a thing or two.

I am not impervious to criticism, but I don't mind reasonable points of view, and love to have a good hearty argument here and there.

I was raised in a large blended family that practiced the Mormon religion. When I became an adult I overcame that addiction in order to pursue a few other ones, sometimes more than one at a time. My current  practices include medicinal cannabis advocacy, active parenthood, and following my heart. I follow politics and I vote. I pay attention to the financial markets and have recently filed bankruptcy. I spent the last decade and a half working in emergency medicine as a medic and am now working as a consultant for a home hospice agency. I have an incredible amount of passion for life and the human race and I spend hours devouring news stories from everywhere the internet can reach. I am a student again, working toward a degree in biotechnology, and plan to keep going toward a focus in psychiatry and neuroscience. There is so much world and life out there and our lives are not long enough to let us experience it all, but I for one, want to get in as much of it as humanly possible, because that's all I am, human.